Matrimony

Marriage is the total convenantal gift, body and soul, of one spouse to another.  It is characterized by permanence, fidelity and a total openness to the creative power of God (children).  As a sacrament, marriage has 2 primary dimensions: unity and procreativity.  Through the unitive dimension, the husband and wife are united as one in their love for each other.  The procreation dimension challenges the couple to also move beyond their own personal relationship and self-interests, to allow for an openness to new life and new relationships which will enhance the marital bond.

While the procreative aspect of marriage usually refers to having children, it is not limited to this.  Some couples may be biologically, financially or emotionally unable to bear or raise children.  Such relationships can give life by honestly reaching out in other ways that demonstrate their love of life and their concern for relationships beyond their own.

There is a radical difference between a sacramental marriage — getting married in the Church — and a civil marriage — getting married by a Justice of the Peace.  A couple choosing a sacramental marriage makes a public statement that they wish their faith and their Church to be the center of their future life together.  A couple who chooses a sacramental marriage acknowledges the fact that without God, human beings are weak and unable to live up to the ideals, responsibilities and life-time commitment which marriage entails.  Serious questions will be asked of a couple who wishes to marry in the Church if it is obvious that they have no intention of actively practicing their faith beyond the wedding ceremony.

Preparation for Marriage

In the Catholic Church, marriage is looked upon as a serious commitment that must be considered exclusive — involving 1 man and 1 woman only — and indissoluble — lasting until death.  Therefore, the Church requires that couples who are considering marriage be properly prepared in advance of the wedding day.  The pastor should be contacted AT LEAST 6 MONTHS IN ADVANCE of the intended wedding date.

The marriage preparation program involves:

1. A pre-marital evaluation of the candidates to determine their genuine honesty, sincerity, compatibility and personal readiness to enter into a marriage covenant
2. Regularly scheduled meetings with couples of the marriage prep team to discuss the results of the evaluation and the various issues entailed
3. At least 3 meetings with the pastor to discuss the nature of the sacrament itself, and finally to plan the wedding ceremony
4. Attendance at an Engaged Encounter Weekend to learn about the secular and spiritual realities of marriage from couples who have first hand experience.  In very rare circumstances the pastor may suggest an alternative to the Engaged Encounter weekend
5. Completion of Natural Family Planning classes provided by the Archdiocese

Beyond the preparation program there are other guidelines established by the Archdiocese and our parish:

1. In order to be married in the Catholic church, 1 of the engaged partners must be a practicing member of the faith.  Catholics may marry members of another religious denomination as long as it does not contradict the values, principles and doctrines of the Catholic Church.  For sufficient reasons, the Catholic Church will recognize as sacramental a wedding ceremony held in another denomination that has been granted by the Archbishop beforehand
2. The priest can suggest that the marriage be delayed if he perceives that there are too many obstacles at the present time which would prevent the couple from entering into a religious covenant
3. Wedding ceremonies are religious events.  As such, the proper place for the wedding ceremony is the parish church.  Secular or inappropriate music is not permitted.  The placement of floral arrangements and positioning of photographers must likewise respect the religious nature of the event
4. Members of the couple’s family as well as close friends are encouraged to actively participate in the ceremony as ushers, lectors and (if already commissioned) Eucharistic ministers

A Word About Divorce, Annulments and Declarations of Nullity

Often throught no fault of their own, many Catholics find themselves in the painful situation of being civilly divorced.  It is important to remember that simply being divorced does not preclude a person from receiving the sacraments. 

If a person who has been divorced wishes to remarry, it is necessary to obtain a Declaration of Nullity (often called an annulment) which ensures the person is free to marry.  A Declaration of Nullity recognizes that a civil marriage took place but then investigates whether the union was also a successful sacramental covenant.  If for some reason a covenant relationship did not result from this marriage, a Catholic would then be free to seek another marriage in the Church.  A Declaration of Nullity does not affect in any way the legitimacy of children who may have been born in that marriage.